I believe it so
by GoWaitInTheCar
Summary: Shikamaru has remained by Kurenai's side throughout the years. Tensions build but with their age gap and the fact that she was Asuma's lover, mother to his child and he was his student, could they really be together?


Author's note: I must say I am disappointed in the lack of fanfictions for this pairing. I know some may think it's against the character's morals and a bit unethical but anything is possible ^_^  
I personally like Kurenai and I feel terrible for her after losing Asuma. Shikamaru is the only person I can see her allowing to become closer to her. He was Asuma's favorite, after all. She would take comfort in him. This story takes place a few years later; Kurenai being 33 and Shikamaru 18. This story will only be two chapters. Please leave a review with your thoughts, comments, and critique.

Shikamaru's hand pumped rapidly. His breath was labored as his forehead rested against his arm on the tiled wall. The hot water began to lose its heat and he tried to ignore the water's slow cooling. His black hair curtained his furrowed brows as his climax neared. With a hitch in his breath, he let out a small moan as he caught his semen in his hand. Looking down to his sticky hand, he noticed there was still dirt on his forearm. He hadn't wasted any time upon returning home from his three day mission to jump in the shower. He was pent up the entire mission and he needed release before his lunch with Temari of Sunagakure.

Walking down the busy street, Shikamaru lazily walked with his hands in his pockets. A lit cigarette was loosely hanging from his lips. The smoke stung his eyes slightly but it was a sensation he had grown accustom to. Coming into the small restaurant, he took note of the blonde sitting a booth by herself. She was curvy in the right places a woman should be. It was hard not to take notice of her body and her lean muscular legs. Her dirty blonde hair was long enough to be french braided into two pigtails. She was wearing makeup, something she had started doing since they began their series of lunches and dinners whenever one another visited their respected villages.

Over the years, Temari's flirting and advances had never really went anywhere else from the small kisses on his cheek or her putting her arm around his. Ino had started becoming jealous of the wind maiden. And when Ino was jealous of anyone, she was j-e-a-l-o-u-s. Ino had become protective of him when other women were getting too close and she offered small hints of affection when they spent time together. Her blushes didn't go unnoticed to his eyes. Ino often spoke badly of Temari and vice versa. To be honest, most men would be happy that two attractive blondes would fight over him but even if it an ego boost, Shikamaru found it a pain to listen to them both put each other down so unlady like. That wasn't to say he wouldn't sleep with either one or that he didn't find them attractive, but it bored him to hear their yapping about each other. After their lunch and hours of talking, subtle flirting, Shikamaru laid some money on the table to pay for their meals. It was getting late, "Ay. I have to go."

"Kurenai?"

"Yeah. She worries when I don't check in with her"

"Who's looking after whom?" Temari raised a brow.

Shikamaru grinned, putting a cigarette between his lips, "See ya."

Kurenai adjusted the small toddler on her hip, giving Shikamaru a smile as he entered the small apartment, "I'm glad you're safe."

"The mission was a piece of cake. You shouldn't worry about me, Kurenai." He said as he opened his hands to take the small boy from her. The child tried reaching out to him and Kurenai handed Shikamaru her son. Even though her son was familiar with Kiba, Shino, and Choji, he was attached to Shikamaru like a child would be to their father. She did not mind the attachment, in fact, she adored it. Her son needed a father figure in his life and with Asuma's passing, she knew even Asuma wouldn't want anyone else but Shikamaru to step up.

"I worry because I care. Did you see anyone today?" hoping he would say he spent time with his friends. But his answer made her stomach turn a bit.

"I had lunch with Temari" he admitted, avoiding her eyes.

"That's good. I hope things are going well in Suna" Kurenai faked a smile. She was a bit jealous of the relationship the two shared. They had been seeing each other for years now but there was no commitment to make it an official relationship from what she understood. He hardly spoke of Temari but when he did, she pretended to be supportive of their prude fling.

Shikamaru nodded, turning his attention to the small boy who every day was starting to look more and more like his biological father. His small red eyes were excited as he clung to Shikamaru's flak jacket.

"I wanna pway" he said.

Shikamaru lifted the toddler over his head, "Of course you do. Did you miss me?"

The young boy nodded, giggling at being held so high.

Shikamaru's comforting presence made Kurenai feel at ease. Even with the small patter of her son's feet now racing through her apartment, it wasn't the same as the companionship she sought. After the companionship she once shared with Asuma, there was no way she could go back to solitude. Her heart ached at the empty side of her bed that Asuma had once occupied. She enjoyed Shikamaru's company and the young man didn't seem to mind coming over for hours instead of spending time with his friends or cloud-watching. At first she felt guilty for taking advantage of his offered help but over the years, his reassurance that he _wanted_ to help her, that he _liked_ spending time with her and her son, her guilt was less prominent. Now she worried about the bonds he had with his friends. She knew between his missions and sleep, he didn't spend much time with his friends anymore. She hoped he wasn't alienating himself from the others because of her but a small piece of her selfishly liked keeping him to herself.

It was already dark outside and Shikamaru had been playing with her little king for hours in his room. She could hear Shikamaru explaining checkers to the boy and the excited yelp of his own victory. She smiled, knowing fully well Shika was allowing her son to win against the genius. As she prepared dinner, she called them to the kitchen.

Shikamaru was on her balcony smoking as the child ate and soon, she ushered him to bed. She was not surprised that even after it was starting to get late, Shikamaru still hung around. He usually did not leave until she was asleep. Offering his help, he began peeling the potatoes.

Rapidly slicing the carrots for her beef stew for tomorrow's dinner, the kitchen knife's repeated thud on the bamboo cutting board set into a rhythm as she worked.

"Ow!"

Shikamaru turned and saw Kurenai inspecting her sliced finger. A red line of blood started to form.

"Here, lemme see" Shikamaru took her hand and after a quick look, the warmth of his mouth surrounded her finger.

Kurenai froze, her breath let out in a small gasp at the heat of his wet mouth. She felt his tongue applying pressure to her cut. Her red eyes did not falter from his dark eyes. With their bodies close, she slowly withdrew her finger from his mouth.

Shikamaru placed both hands on her cheeks, forcing her to look up at him before his lips met her's. She responded to his kiss with eager enthusiasm as she wrapped her arms around his neck. She could taste the trace of copper in his mouth. Pressing her against the counter with his body, she felt his hands snake under her skirt and grab her ass briefly, lifting her up onto the counter. Her skin goose bumped under his warm touch, his kiss leaving her lips and trailing down her neck. The counter was low enough that she could feel his erection through his pants as it pressed against her. Her smooth ivory legs circled around him, bringing him in closer. One of his large hands slid back under her skirt and slipped into her panties, two fingers entering into her. Gasping at the sensation, her fists balled the fabric of his black shirt. His other entangled in her dark untamable hair.

A sudden thud sounded from somewhere in the apartment, followed by a sharp cry of a child. Shikamaru quickly withdrew his hand and Kurenai pushed him away, jumping off the counter, heading straight for her son's room. Shikamaru squeezed the bridge between his eyes, trying to settle himself and his sexual desire._ 'What did I just do? I shouldn't have kissed her. I shouldn't be touching her like this.' _Just because he shouldn't, didn't mean he didn't want to. His hands shook from the unsettling feeling in his stomach. He was seducing a woman fifteen years his senior, his sensei's lover. But he did not care about their age gap. She was Asuma's girl and therefore should be completely off limits but that didn't stop him from advancing on to her. He had seen her at her most vulnerable of times and seen her hang on with strength to journey motherhood on her own. To him, she was the most beautiful woman he had ever met.

After a while the child's cry was settled and he could hear her soft hum as she soothed the child back to sleep. Shikamaru peered in the doorway; Kurenai lay beside the small boy, rubbing his forehead gently. With quiet stealth she got off the bed and closed the door to her son's room behind her.

Back in the kitchen, Kurenai poured herself a glass of water, drinking it whole. Shikamaru leaned against the counter, his arms crossed, watching her. Hovering the empty glass over the sink's basin, she thought of what to say.

"Shika, I'm too old for you. You should pursue someone closer to your own age." She whispered out, setting the glass down finally and turning to meet his eyes.

Shikamaru grinned, "You _know_ the girls my age, Kurenai. They're too troublesome. Maybe I like older women?"

"You're terrible." Kurenai shook her head, unable to keep her smile in.

Shikamaru sighed. "You think I'm too young for you. And you feel guilty you're taking advantage of my inexperience, worried what others would think if they found out,"

Kurenai nodded. His words were true. She wouldn't be able to look Shikaku in the eyes or even her fellow jonin. How could she face Ino? She knew the beautiful young blonde had started realizing her feelings for the village's genius. There was Temari too. The strong sand shinobi had always sought out Shikamaru on her visits to Konoha. Kurenai had often seen the two talking at local restaurants, presumably on a date but he hadn't mentioned anything more of Temari. She knew even if they started a relationship, she would be questioned from the Hokage as far as Shino and Kiba were concerned, her integrity questioned.

"You worry about betraying Asuma.." Shikamaru closed his eyes. He knew his words would hit hard with Kurenai but he had to say it. He felt like he was betraying Asuma's trust too but the other half wanted Kurenai for his own. He never thought he would care about Kurenai the way he does. After Asuma's death, Shikamaru gave Kurenai space to mourn and eventually started making a presence by her side. Everyone knew Shikamaru was helping her out with chores and errands, tagging along with her to her doctor's visits. Some who didn't know better, whispered behind hands at them together while she was pregnant. Her relationship with Asuma had been known only to a handful of people and no one knew who the father was except for her and Asuma's students. A few women had made harsh comments to Kurenai, accusing her of getting knocked up by a teenage boy. Despite wanting to berate them for accusing her of such when her heart was still mourning the loss of Asuma, she bit her tongue. Instead she felt angry at Asuma for leaving her behind. Her anger did not last long and she felt like a terrible person to blame him. It wasn't his fault and it certainly wasn't Shikamaru's fault for looking out for her.

She remembered Shikamaru when he was just a genin, his small shoulders engulfed by Asuma's large hands as he proudly introduced them. She watched him grow and become a jonin. His small shoulders were now broad; he was taller than her and even his hands had become that of a man's. She wouldn't deny that Shikamaru had grown into handsome young man. He certainly had a sexy way about him and she did play with fantasies between them on her own at night. But he was Asuma's student. He was his little brother in a sense. Kurenai was not foolish; she knew Shikamaru wanted to fulfill his word to his late sensei. She worried if the young man felt comforting her as a lover was also something he needed to do. She worried if his feelings were his own or because of the obligation he had felt through the years. She was ashamed of her own feelings for Shikamaru.

"I know you looked up to Asuma like a big brother. You idolized him and he adored you, Shika. After his death, you became his ghost. You remind me of him every day and it hurts, Shika, but I can't push you away because when you're not around, I feel so lost. I have nothing but respect and love for you, for sticking by my side and helping me raise my child but as much as you want to fill Asuma's shoes, you _can not_ claim me for that reason." Tears threatened to fall; she struggled to keep her voice from breaking under the intensity of her emotions.

Shikamaru let out a grunt and grabbed his flak jacket and put on his shoes. To her surprise, he did not slam her door on his way out. Instead, he left as he always had but no goodbye to her or her son.


End file.
